Common difficulties

Being in any kind of relationship is hard, such as friendships, family, and intimate relationships. There can be many frustrations when it comes to communication with a partner or family member, and there are difficulties building and maintaining friendships. It isn’t easy being in a society where people think less of you, or look at you differently because you have a hearing impairment, speech impediment, or because you don’t communicate with the spoken word, especially in a society where there is very little knowledge about deafness. 

• ​Many Deaf and Hard of Hearing people feel like they need to explain their hearing loss, ask for so many accommodations, and educate friends about what deafness and hearing loss is, this can all be so exhausting and nor fun when you are doing it multiple times over and over again, especially when people start asking questions, most of the time we don’t know how to answer it properly, but having to self advocate for ourselves, can be challnenging, and especially when their getting into an age where they NEED to self advocate can be hard, particularly when they have never self advocated for themslevss before. 

• Communication barriers are the biggest problem when it comes to these relationships. Deaf or hard-of-hearing people really struggle to understand or follow conversations, especially when:

  • There are large gatherings 

  • There are fast conversations 

  • Noisy environments

  • Group conversations with overlapping chatter or voices 

This will often lead to: 

• Miscommunication or misunderstandings

• Needing people to repeat themselves constantly 

• Missing jokes or important information

• Frustrations on both sides 

• Being in an intimate relationship with someone who is Deaf or Hard of Hearing is difficult; it's even harder for the person with the hearing loss. It affects all kinds of relationships too, such as:

  • Friendships 

  • Sibling relationships Parent-child relationships 

  • Cousin relationships

Some things that can cause frustrations in these relationships are: 

• Arguments caused by misunderstandings 

• Frustrations from constant repetition 

• Emotional distance

• Resentment builds over time

• Being in an intimate relationship with someone who is Deaf or Hard of Hearing can be hard, not just because they are Deaf, but because of other things, such as: 

  • Communication and trust 

  • Understanding one another and having to work through communication breakdowns

  • Navigating conflict with each other 

  • Each feeling vulnerable about certain things 

  • Explaining hearing loss to their partner can be hard, and they may not understand and brush them off

  • Balancing independence and support for one another 

In relationships with  Deaf or Hard of Hearing individuals, the hearing person usually becomes the sole person for communication between people, which can create stress for both sides. 

• Making friends is hard enough when you have a hearing loss, but maintaining triendships is even harder. Some things that deaf or hard-of-hearing people experience struggle with are: 

  • Making close friendships 

  • Maintaining those friendships 

  • Feeling accepted in hearing friend groups 

  • Being ignored 

  • Friends drifting away from them 

  • Betrayal or conflict due to misunderstandings

Fewer opportunities to socialise, some Deaf or hard-of-hearing people find stronger friendships within the deaf community, as they know what it is like.  

•  Making strong and close friendships with someone is really important to a deaf or hard-of-hearing individual, especially if they support and understand what it can be like and be able to connect with them either way. Friendships provide: 

  • Emotional support 

  • Confidence 

  • Identity and belonging 

• Relationships within a family can be a real struggle in forming strong relationships with each other. Some of the struggles include: 

  • Siblings feeling forgotten 

  • Jealousy and resentment between each other 

  • Parents giving more or less attention to the deaf or hard-of-hearing child 

  • Family stress in adjusting to hearing loss 

  • Communication breakdowns/misunderstandings

  • Unequal attention 

  • Advocacy fatigue 

  • Family members speaking for the Deaf or Hard of Hearing individual

  • Feeling overprotected

• There are lots of mental health impacts that come with this; repeated communication barriers and social exclusion can have a cumulative impact on mental health over time. such as: 

  • Anxiety

  • Low self-esteem

  • Loneliness 

  • Distrust 

  • Depression 

  • Social withdrawal 

• Some things that other people around Deaf or Hard of Hearing people can do are: 

  • Encourage inclusive social opportunities

  • Support the development of self advocacy skills 

  • Help families understand that Deaf or Hard of Hearing people need the right communication skills to be able to socialise and feel included, and that it is okay and normal for communication to be hard, and that it might take time 

  • Promote deaf role models and peer connections 

  • Recognise signs of social isolation 

  • Support access to deaf community events and networks

• Being around people who have a hearing impairment or loss is a really important part of life, because you can share stories, build strong friendships, and really connect with people who just understand what you’re going through, even if it is not the same hearing loss. Some things that come with benefits from this are: 

  • It reduces isolation

  • Builds stronger friendships that can last for a lifetime

  • Increases confidence

  • And creates a sense of belonging